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I went to the L.A. Zoo this weekend with Rhonda yesterday. The cool thing about dating a zookeeper is that you get to do cool behind the scenes things that nobody else gets to do. Adding to my list of things nobody gets to do is standing twenty-four inches from a tiger that wants to eat me and walk away. I also got to watch an elephant masturbate (gray and comes in gallons, indeed).

At first I was really worried about Rhonda’s move back to L.A. to work at the zoo. A lot has been going through my mind lately and suffice it to say that I’m not worried anymore, not like I was. Naturally my paranoia will always jump up to haunt me, but at least now I know that those feelings are completely irrational and that I have nothing to worry about. We’re going strong, and getting stronger.

And, at long last we’ve finally figured out what the hell was going through his head.