Yes, I've been ignoring my blog lately. I'd like to say it was for good reason, but I'm not sure that it is. The problem is that I've been ignoring it for too long, and my good reason only travels into the recent past. Well, that's not necessarily true. I've got a fairly good reason to shroud about the past five weeks. I've been scheming these past five weeks. And when I start to scheme I don't really want anybody to know what I'm scheming about, but in reality I could really use advice on the situation.
Couple that with my birthday on Thursday and it makes for a pretty horrible time.
A note about my birthday. It wasn't so terrible this year. Usually the day before my birthday turns out to be much better than the actual day itself. This year the crapiness apexed on Wednesday, and Thursday turned out a lot better. It was still a disappointing Thursday (if you think you know why, you're wrong, unless you're Joy), but better.
I'm also rather concerned that I'll get dooced. I've become acutely aware of the consequences of what I write here since you can't take back what you tell the Internet. Not that I've ever written anything that I'm ashamed of, or that I wish I didn't write. No, quite to the contrary I'm proud of everything that I've ever been able to write here. I'm not one to normally expressy my feelings just openly or to wear my heart on my sleeve. But at times people have read things that I didn't expect them to read and later mentioned it to me. If you want to get to know me better, this is definitely the place to go (yes, I mean you).
Sometimes I wish I had written more in my blog. I've read almost everything that Dooce has written. I'm almost caught up in the archives to the day I started reading. I've had a blog longer than Dooce, but I've lost more archives than her. But reading dooce.com you can watch her grow through the past five years. I'm not exactly sure the same can be said for me. Not that I've ever gone back and read all of my archives to see, but from what I remember I don't think that's the case. I don't think that Dooce will ever read this, being able to watch her progress through her depression and eventually overcome it (if such a thing can be done) has really helped me cope with mine.
Maybe Digital Elf will help someone else. Maybe my kids will read it and know what it was like for me to live early in my life. Maybe I'll write more often.